I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize