i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
