I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
