is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
