I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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