Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today