Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt