You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She bit a glass in half.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning