im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday