i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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