I must be too annoying 4 u.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize