I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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