and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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