I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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