You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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