YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.