My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf