I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize