I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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