covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
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