kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
