WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.