Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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