you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize