my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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