I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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