what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My dick has a subreddit
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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