Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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