i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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