i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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