Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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