I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
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Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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