Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
