I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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