Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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