Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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