She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
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I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
When are your genitals available?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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