first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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