Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So. Much. Porn.
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