She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
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He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
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The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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