smell my finger.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
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just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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