if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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