i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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