Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
did i just pee glitter
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
