Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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