You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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