There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
