I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize