I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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