Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I stole a fireplace last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die