it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
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