He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize