What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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