I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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